Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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