i need an iv and a liver transplant
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Drunk is not a location!
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
