Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
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