No more Irish car bombs ever.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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