youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
