girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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