So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
