Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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