You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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