We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
