This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I have feelings that need drinking.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
