you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
