Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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