If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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