you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
