Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
