even my farts smell like vagina
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
