Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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