just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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