ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
