i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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