it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize