So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
