I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
