I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
