Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
