You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
