dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Help. Why am I so naked?
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