Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
