My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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