i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
