If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
