So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize