Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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