Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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