Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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