mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
