only if we run a train.
done.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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