Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
