Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
