Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
We're too hungover to prance.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize