Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
