I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
