I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
my phone needs a breathalizer
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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