It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
and you fell through a lawn chair
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
