I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
