Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
