We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
