the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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