i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
