I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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