Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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