She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
