I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
