I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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