i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
The Olympian is in my bed
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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