my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
