Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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