Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
