so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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