I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
