Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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